A few months ago, I received a packet in the mail about Medicare. The cover letter began, "Dear Nikol, You're just a few months away from turning 65." This was in April. My birthday had been in February, and this year I turned thirtysomething. When I got that Medicare letter, I thought it was funny and it had actually crossed my mind to scan it and post it here on the ol' blog. But instead I threw it into the recycling bin and forgot about it. Except, that letter wasn't an isolated incident. I've received LOTS of information in the mail lately about Medicare and retirement benefits and reverse mortgages. But the icing on the cake was the message I had on my home machine yesterday. Our outgoing message was recorded by my son when he was about 5 years old. Yes, I'm one of those people who has their kid record the answering machine message. Sue me. Anyway, the caller started his message by commenting on how cute the outgoing message was, asked if it was my grandchild, and then proceeded to identify himself as a Medicare something something specialist, and since he knew I was turning 65 very soon, he wanted to talk to me about my options.Where are these people getting the idea that I'm about to turn 65?
Could it be:
- because I complained that they swore too much on the MTV movie awards?
- because I enjoy playing canasta?
- because I tend to repeat myself?
- because I tend to repeat myself?
- because I really do want the darn kids off my lawn?
- because I sometimes complain about my hip hurting?
- because I've been known to buy Activia yogurt?
- because I can't drink anything with caffeine past 2pm or else I can't sleep that night?
- because I use phrases like "toodle-loo?"
- because my idea of happy hour is a nap?
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10 comments:
My letter must have gotten lost in the mail, then.
What's that, deary, I couldn't quite hear you? No, no, you're really going to have to speak up. I have no idea what's wrong with kids these days but you all mumble! :-)
So far, no one thinks I'm 65 (well, no one "official", though my Golden Girls habit indicates otherwise), but before I removed my listing from Spokeo, it had me listed as a dude.
It's because you eat dinner at 4:30.
Hahhaha, I laughed really hard at canasta. I play cribbage and feel old whenever I do. ;)
Once my college roommate got a letter informing her that her insurance was going to be cancelled because they'd learned she died. THAT was a weird one.
Ha! Sometimes those 'lists' are wrong. My maiden name is Phillips, married name is Marks. At some point [after I got married], Brad and I started getting junk mail for a 'Jr. Phillips.' It has followed us to our new house even. And [as made obvious by todays blog post] we don't have kids. I don't know what we did to make someone think we had kids and that for some reason we chose to give it my maiden name.
It must be because you're associating with ME and I am about to cross over to the senior side come november so I must be on a list and then they CLEARLY tracked you via blogger tracker with pie charts and triangle graphs....
Is paranoia a sign of old age?
That is hilarious!! Wow!
I love your list of "criteria" to be targeted by Medicare. Very funny. :-)
I don't have a lawn, but I'm constantly yelling at the kids next door to get their scooters away from my porch.
And don't even get me started about the volume on the television...
Maybe a senior citizen stole your identity...
as soon as I read the word "canasta" I knew there was no need to me to read any further down the list ;-)
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