GOOP's Christmas Message

You know that mocking stuff in GOOP is one of my favorite things. In the Christmas Day edition, Gwyneth includes this bit from Cynthia Bourgeault:

Don’t get tricked into confusing truth with facticity — i.e., facts and figures that seem to prove an “objective” reality. We know little about the historical Jesus — other than that he seems to have actually existed in first century Palestine and created enough anxiety in the minds of his religious and political superiors that he suffered a criminal’s death. Beyond that it’s all speculation, and the “facts” we look for, whether by archeology or textual criticism — are themselves open to speculation. But what is true is PRECISELY the subjective element: Whoever this Jesus may have been, his teaching and his existence in and of itself made such an impact on people that they passed on his story like wildfire and even founded a new religion to carry his teaching to the world. Over twenty centuries, the explosive energy of the Jesus event has changed the world. That much is true.

It’s also true that people continue to meet him in their hearts and in their lives, and over the centuries, creating some of the most remarkable human beings who have been the model of the highest possible degree of what human dignity and compassion are all about. Think about St. Francis... Thomas Merton... Dorothy Day... Mother Theresa... Dag Hammarskjold. For all these people the encounter with Jesus changed their lives and rekindled the flame of human striving. Is this all just massive self-delusion? Or is it the actual working mechanics of how everything that’s really REAL in our lives — love, beauty, hope, forgiveness — always seems to change us from the inside out.

Facts remain facts, but our relationship to them is what reveals truth. So it is with Jesus, and all the great spiritual beings who from time to time visit our planet to awaken us to the vastness of the divine Mystery, and the human heart that receives it. The two are inseparable, and the cure for “delusion” is not facticity, but clear and luminous vision.

That, incidentally, is what the star above the manger in Bethlehem represents symbolically: the clear and luminous vision that can proclaim “Peace on Earth, Good Will toward humankind.” The story is perhaps a legend, but the message is utterly true. And it is the message I wish to each and every one of you GOOP readers in this magical, mysterious season of Christmastide. Blessings to one and all!

I thought that was beautiful. Merry Christmas, everyone!

The Christmas Shoes

We've been listening to Christmas music on the radio in my office all month. A local radio station plays nothing but Christmas music from Thanksgiving through New Year's, and I love it. I'm one of those people who could (and does!) listen to Christmas music all year long. That's one thing I love about random shuffle on my iPod. Sometimes in the middle of June I'll get a little Stevie Wonder singing What Christmas Means to Me. Always puts me in a great mood. But I digress. We've been listening to Christmas music in the office, and though there are thousands of Christmas albums out there, the radio station plays the same rotation of songs pretty much every day. One of these songs is that one about The Christmas Shoes. You know the one. It's atrocious and sappy and meant to make you cry. But I've heard it every day, all month long. And I realized something today. When I hear that song, and I'm picturing the little boy clutching the Christmas shoes to his chest, explaining to a nameless stranger about how he needs to buy these shoes for his mother who will "meet Jesus" that night...I picture the shoes looking like this:
There's a fun little glimpse into how my mind works. Merry Christmas!

GOOP: Merry Christmas from the FTC

In this week's GOOP newsletter, Gwyneth talks about how she recently took an impromptu vacation to Marrakesh, Morocco:Isn't it nice that she give us all these tips? In case you're bored sometime and decide that you need to get out of the house, why not try Morocco? Maybe stay in the fabulous La Mamounia hotel. It's recently renovated, and rooms start around $800 a night. It's a total bargain.

I wasn't originally going to write anything about this week's GOOP because I am 100% bored with Gwyneth lately. The cooking and food suggestions are bland. Even her holiday gift ideas were boring. They weren't even outrageous enough to mock effectively! And I thought this Marrakesh newsletter was more of the same. But then I saw this article, which describes how Gwynnie is in violation of Federal Trade Commission guidelines for not disclosing that she had a paid endorsement for her little Moroccan adventure. Apparently her little impromptu trip was over Thanksgiving weekend, where she attended the grand opening of the La Mamounia hotel along with other VIPs. So you know she probably didn't pay for anything.

The article states:

...a celebrity who endorses a product or service has to disclose any "material connection" to the provider -- a designation that covers not only cash compensation but also free merchandise or services. The new rules specifically target new media like e-newsletters and websites, the two formats in which Goop is published...

Under the strictest reading of the new rules, bloggers or celebrities who make endorsements without disclosing material compensation are subject to fines of up to $11,000. FTC officials, however, have made it clear that such fines would be targeted mainly at advertisers and would be levied only in serious cases

So, Gwyneth might face a fine, though I sort of doubt it. Still, I kind of love Gwyneth being called out. Delicious!

Blue Christmas

I haven't posted anything in a while. I have these fleeting ideas about things to talk about, but the posts never seem to materialize. I'm looking forward to the holidays very much, but I also have a touch of the blues lately. Crazy Sister's divorce is final now, and my ex-brother-in-law seemingly wants nothing to do with our family anymore. Which I guess is kind of understandable, but also makes me sad. I also can't help but miss my father this time of year. So...just a joke for now, in the interest of keeping a smile on my face. I saw this on a message board, and it cracked me up.


A woman walks into a bar.

She says to the bartender, "I’d like a double entendre, please.”

So he gives it to her.

Gift for the Star Wars Geek in Your Life

Last year when I had just barely started this blog, I had a few posts that were gift ideas for the holidays. What worked out nicely in my favor because my husband read those posts and ended up getting me a bunch of that stuff for Christmas. Sweeeeet.

This item is something for the Star Wars geek in your life. Now, I know that a Tauntaun sleeping bag is totally impractical. But! But! It's a Tauntaun sleeping bag! And the zipper looks like a lightsaber! And the inside is printed to look like Tauntaun guts! That is pure awesomesauce. Here's the blurb from Think Geek (which is a super cool website for all things geeky!):

Slumber in the Belly of the Beast

In the sub-zero wasteland of the planet Hoth, only the strong survive... and of course those lucky Jedi protected by the thick skin of a Tauntaun. Now after exhaustive movie viewing research and analysis ThinkGeek Labs has isolated the exact synthetic compounds needed to re-create Tauntaun fur. What have we done with this supreme knowledge? Created a Tauntaun sleeping bag of course.


This high-quality sleeping bag looks just like a Tauntaun, complete with saddle, printed internal intestines, and a plush lightsaber zipper pull. Now when your kids tell you their favorite Star Wars movie is "Attack of the Clones" you can nestle the wee-ones snug in simulated Tauntaun fur while regaling them with the amazing tale of "Empire Strikes Back".

Use the plush lightsaber zipper pull on the Tauntaun sleeping bag to illustrate how Han Solo saved Luke Skywalker from certain death in the freezing climate of Hoth by slitting open the belly of a dead Tauntaun and placing Luke inside the stinking (but warm) carcass. If your kids don't change their tune on which Star Wars film is the greatest ever, you can do your best Jar Jar impression until they repent.

I totally love the Think Geek people. You should, too.